Red Twilight

Life is beautiful.

Why I Gave Up Novel Writing

Posted by Avra-Sha Faohla on August 3, 2014

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For as long as I can remember, I have loved to write. So naturally, I always dreamed of being a published writer, or at least of writing a full novel. It’s been so long a goal of mine that I stubbornly failed to see that it wasn’t going to happen. Of course I would write a novel . . . eventually. I’m a writer! That’s what writers do!

It took me a long time to realize that I am not a novelist, nor do I believe I ever will be. And I’m okay with it. Because there’s more to writing than just novels. I can do poetry or short fiction, as I’ve always done. This doesn’t mean I won’t still write!

Theoretically, I might be able to crank out a very short novel, if someone would press me/pay me to do it and I had absolutely nothing better do with my time. Maybe.

But in reality, I’ve come to realize that I am simply not devoted enough. I have always been a dreadfully slow writer, and though I love writing, I don’t think I love it enough to waste so much time and put so much effort into producing a novel which, let’s face it, can’t be very good. I’m not saying I don’t write well; I do believe God made me a better writer than most. But within the writing community, I don’t think I have quite enough talent to ever put out any truly good novel.

I know God wants me to use the talents He gave me. But although I don’t know what for, I am fairly certain that novel-writing is not it.

What is the point of me saying all this? I think what I’m trying to get at is that it’s okay to give up on things. Sometimes people value following dreams so much that, when they hear someone has given up on the dreams of his youth, they disapprove. But why the disapproval, really? People change, and their values change. As a young girl, the dream of writing a novel was so important to me. Now, I realize that there are other things in life that I need to focus on, and when I think of the ideal “me”. . . it’s not one who’s written a novel. Realizing that has allowed me to accept that I was always somewhat ill qualified for novel-writing anyway.

I’ve let go of the feeling of I must write a novel that’s been with me for all these years, and I think it’s the right thing for me.

And if anyone reading this has any old dreams that conflict with who she is today, I hope she can find it in her to let go as well.

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2 Responses to “Why I Gave Up Novel Writing”

  1. Lucy said

    I totally agree with you. I had a dream, an obsession, really. Finally, one day I let it go. I felt so free after a period of mourning, of course. A great burden had been lifted. You do write very well. Lucy

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