Red Twilight

Life is beautiful.

Annoying Things Food Bloggers Do

Posted by Avra-Sha Faohla on October 23, 2014

I like reading food blogs. I’ve noticed that there are a few things that a lot of food bloggers like to do which I find frustrating. These are probably not done just by food bloggers, but that’s where I’ve noticed them.

Thing #1

They use the > symbol to mean better than. They might say:

Frosted > unfrosted.

Except the problem is that > means greater in number than. Not better than. The pseudo-math doesn’t even make sense.

Does anyone else get annoyed when they see that?

Thing #2

They say “I inhaled these cookies!” No, you did not. You’d be choking if you did.

Maybe the first time someone used inhale to mean gobble up, the choking imagery could be overlooked because it was clever and original. But it’s since lost any originality.

Dictionaries do include it as an informal definition of inhale, so use it if you wish. But it’ll always sound to me like you’re choking.

Thing #3

Speaking of overused expressions, please stop telling me I need your latest food creations in my life. Think of a different way to say they’re amazing. Even just saying “they’re amazing” is better than using an expression that is supposed to be clever but is used by every other person.

need these in life

Thing #4

This one is really for all recipe writers, not just the bloggers: What’s with the “pinch” of salt (or whatever)? I am using a recipe rather than making it up as I go because I want exact measurements that I know will work! Can’t you measure it and tell me what it is? 1/4 teaspoon? 1/8 teaspoon?

When I see “pinch of salt” in a recipe, I either skip it entirely or use so little, for fear of oversalting, that it doesn’t do anything for the dish anyway.

By the way, I also don’t like “heaping” and “scant” (how heaping? how scant?).

Postscript

I just wanted to add that I’m dreadful at sounding lighthearted in writing. While everything I said here is true, it probably doesn’t bother me as much as it seems it does. If you do one of these things, I still love you. And I likely won’t remember it anyway. :D

Posted in Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Voice Week Part Five: The Man at the Monument Shop

Posted by Avra-Sha Faohla on September 24, 2014

Catch up:
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

Part Five:  The Man at the Monument Shop

Selling tombstones is funny work. It’s got to be funny or else it’s depressing. The other day a snippy man with a face like a hippopotamus came in and asked whether we sold wooden tombstones. Wooden! Now there’s a modern man stuck in the Victorian era somehow. I could barely hold in my laughter, although maybe it wasn’t because of what he said so much as because of what he looked like.

Then there was the hobbling old woman who wanted a stone for her dear late husband John Williams. As if it wasn’t bad enough that he had the terribly common surname Williams, his parents had gone and named him John. And the silly woman wanted his name prominent and the dates all tiny! Someday someone’ll see his tombstone and think it belongs to someone else.

Now wouldn’t that be funny?


 

I got the idea for this last one from Stephanie’s suggestion on the Voice Week About page that you can write from different time periods. Not a different time period exactly, but a different time, yes. :D So thank you, Stephanie, for that suggestion!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this adventure! I certainly did.

Posted in Creative Writing | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments »

Voice Week Part Four: The Girl

Posted by Avra-Sha Faohla on September 23, 2014

Catch up:
Part One
Part Two
Part Three

Part Four: The Girl

Lots of stupid people think that teenage love isn’t the real thing. As if we’re only subhuman and our emotions can’t compare to those of “real” adults.

But when my boyfriend died last week, I felt like my heart had been demolished.

Today I visited his graveyard. I couldn’t remember exactly where his grave was, but I walked around until I spotted his name on a stone. I just kind of crumpled onto the ground. I wanted to say something, but there was nothing to say.

Some old lady with a little kid came by. I don’t know who she was. Not his grandmother because I’ve met both of them. I didn’t recognize the kid either.

When they came, I left.

I wish I could say visiting him helped. But my heart is as sore as ever.

Posted in Creative Writing | Tagged: , , , , , , | 16 Comments »

Voice Week Part Three: The Child

Posted by Avra-Sha Faohla on September 22, 2014

Catch up:
Part One
Part Two

Part Three: The Child

Grandpa died when I was little and I don’t remember him. I wish I did. Today I asked Grandma if she could take me to his grave, and she let me come with her.

The graveyard was very big. It felt like a very long time before we got there.

Someone I knew was sitting by Grandpa’s grave. It was the lady who helped me find my mother last year when I was lost in the park. I waved, but she didn’t wave back.

Grandma asked her if she knew Grandpa. But she just told Grandma to leave her alone. And then she got up and went away.

I guess she was just sad that Grandpa was dead. I asked Grandma about it, and she didn’t know. But I think I am right because she didn’t even say hi to me.

Posted in Creative Writing | Tagged: , , , , , , | 19 Comments »

Voice Week Part Two: The Old Woman

Posted by Avra-Sha Faohla on September 21, 2014

Catch part one here.

Part Two: The Old Woman

My grandson wanted to visit John’s grave with me. I was touched, you see. He was an infant when his grandfather died and, of course, could not have remembered him. It truly was touching. He is a sweet child.

We walked across the graveyard. Rob held my hand, which you’ll understand was—even after six years—for me as much as for him. When we reached John’s grave, a young lady, perhaps seventeen or eighteen years old, was sitting there.

I asked, “Did you know him?” I’d never seen her before, you see.

She looked up, and I tell you, she looked more miserable than I’d ever seen anyone look. She said, “Leave me alone,” and walked off.

Rob asked me, “Is she sad about Grandpa?”

“I don’t know, Rob,” I told him. “But you’re right. She’s very sad.”

Posted in Creative Writing | Tagged: , , , , , , | 20 Comments »

Voice Week Part One: The Observer

Posted by Avra-Sha Faohla on September 20, 2014

I’m excited to participate in Voice Week. It’s a writing challenge in which each participant writes five different pieces from one scenario, each with a different narrative voice. We’re supposed to post one a day starting Monday, but I’m starting a little early. Enjoy!

Part One: The Observer

I am an explorer. A seeker of inspiration. I skitter from place to place, observing. Animals. People. Wilderness. Cities.

Today I watch the graveyard.

A girl wanders. Eyes round and sad. Moving back and forth like searchlights. At last she finds her spot. Settles to the ground in one quick motion. Not a deliberate, firm swiftness but a collapse. Resigned. Hopeless.

Minutes pass.

An elderly woman and child approach. Reach the girl. They speak to her, inquiring. She replies, sorrowful and cold. Stands and leaves.

She’s sadder than when she came.

Posted in Creative Writing | Tagged: , , , , , , | 26 Comments »

Please Explain This, Google.

Posted by Avra-Sha Faohla on September 5, 2014

Look at what I highlighted and then tell me what that means. Because I haven’t got a clue. ;)

Posted in Interesting Happenings | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

It’s Not a Life Hack If It Complicates Matters

Posted by Avra-Sha Faohla on August 20, 2014

Raise your hand if you don’t enjoy learning life hacks.

Nobody?

We all like life hacks. Sometimes, though, the life “hacks” are actually quite silly if you think about them, and they just make things more complicated than necessary. Here are a few ridiculous life hacks that are all over the Internet.

paint can

Somehow this doesn’t seem like a good idea. I get the feeling that the rubber band, after the paint brush is wiped on it, will vibrate and splatter paint everywhere, doing far more damage than wiping on the side of the can ever did. Ah, but what if the rubber band is extremely taut and won’t vibrate? Well, if it’s that taut, it might be on the verge of snapping, which would splatter paint even farther!

doritos

They may be great for kindling, but they’re even better for eating. Nevertheless, if you really want food that might be only half as good as the kindling used in the fire that cooked it, be my guest.

life-hacks-how-to-make-your-life-easier-39

Have you ever tried this? It looks simple enough, but I’ll bet it isn’t. Plus, um, a Ziploc bag is easier anyway.

fridge

First of all, there’s more to grocery shopping than perishables. Second, unless you always buy the same groceries and always keep them in a very specific place in the fridge, I don’t see how this picture will help you remember what’s not in the picture.

floss

Or, you know, you could use a knife. ;)

Posted in In My Humble Opinion, Pictures, Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Why I Gave Up Novel Writing

Posted by Avra-Sha Faohla on August 3, 2014

diary-92652_640

For as long as I can remember, I have loved to write. So naturally, I always dreamed of being a published writer, or at least of writing a full novel. It’s been so long a goal of mine that I stubbornly failed to see that it wasn’t going to happen. Of course I would write a novel . . . eventually. I’m a writer! That’s what writers do!

It took me a long time to realize that I am not a novelist, nor do I believe I ever will be. And I’m okay with it. Because there’s more to writing than just novels. I can do poetry or short fiction, as I’ve always done. This doesn’t mean I won’t still write!

Theoretically, I might be able to crank out a very short novel, if someone would press me/pay me to do it and I had absolutely nothing better do with my time. Maybe.

But in reality, I’ve come to realize that I am simply not devoted enough. I have always been a dreadfully slow writer, and though I love writing, I don’t think I love it enough to waste so much time and put so much effort into producing a novel which, let’s face it, can’t be very good. I’m not saying I don’t write well; I do believe God made me a better writer than most. But within the writing community, I don’t think I have quite enough talent to ever put out any truly good novel.

I know God wants me to use the talents He gave me. But although I don’t know what for, I am fairly certain that novel-writing is not it.

What is the point of me saying all this? I think what I’m trying to get at is that it’s okay to give up on things. Sometimes people value following dreams so much that, when they hear someone has given up on the dreams of his youth, they disapprove. But why the disapproval, really? People change, and their values change. As a young girl, the dream of writing a novel was so important to me. Now, I realize that there are other things in life that I need to focus on, and when I think of the ideal “me”. . . it’s not one who’s written a novel. Realizing that has allowed me to accept that I was always somewhat ill qualified for novel-writing anyway.

I’ve let go of the feeling of I must write a novel that’s been with me for all these years, and I think it’s the right thing for me.

And if anyone reading this has any old dreams that conflict with who she is today, I hope she can find it in her to let go as well.

Posted in All About Avra, In My Humble Opinion, Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

I Think Someone’s Been Murdered

Posted by Avra-Sha Faohla on July 24, 2014

IMG_0113 with text and watermark

I investigated further, and it turned out to be a normal light that just looked green because it was reflected off the trees. But this was what I thought when I saw it. :D

Posted in Don't Take This Post Too Seriously, Pictures | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
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